Freaky Friday
by marcen12
Summary: What happens when Bart and homer have had enough of each other? Find out!
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SIMPSONS! PLEASE BE AWARE OF THIS AND PLEASE ENJOY!

Freaky Friday

Chapter 1

**THURSDAY**

It was a usual Thursday morning.

Bart was still sleeping in his room when his alarm clock rang. Grumbling, he got out of bed.

_Great, _he thought. _Here is another day of school, another day of torture._

He put on his usual orange shirt and blue shorts. School had been just another day of learning about nothing.

First, however, he had to do something in the household. Bart went to his parent's room. Homer was sleeping on the floor. Last night, he had drunk a sip of expired vodka and went crazy. Homer had been passed out on the floor, with no shirt, beer belly exposed. Marge was in the washroom, getting ready for the day.

Bart took a marker out of his pants. He then wrote something on Homer's forehead. He laughed as he quickly ran out of the room.

Marge came out of the washroom to wake up Homer. "Homey," she shook him gently. "It's time for work."

Homer got up and dragged himself to the washroom. "Stupid job is always trying to bust my balls for doing something." He looked into the mirror and saw what had been written on his forehead: Ben Affleck.

"BART!" Homer shouted as he ran to Bart's room. He knocked on the door, furiously. "GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Lisa got out of her room, dressed in her usual orange dress. "Dad, I believe if you want to get your son's attention, you may want to use a different tone in your voice."

Homer looked at Lisa. "Sweetie, if I used another tone in my voice, that would make me weak, just like Michael Cera."

Bart had heard the conversation from inside his room. "Yeah, but Homer isn't famous!" he laughed.

Homer had enough and went back to pounding on his son's door. "BART! I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF THREE TO GET YOUR UGLY, YELLOW, NO GOOD BUTT OUT OF THERE!"

Lisa interrupted. "Dad, different tone."

Homer closed his eyes and changed his tone. "Son, I would appreciate it if you would come out of your room. I would like to talk to about this horrible thing you have written on my forehead." Then, out of nowhere, he pulled out a baseball bat. "I just want to talk."

Lisa shook her head and walked away. "Mom! You may want to call 911 again!"

Bart called out. "You can come in here and we'll talk, Homer!"

Homer hid the bat behind his back and opened his room. Bart was sitting on his bed, smiling.

"Well, Dad," Bart laughed. "At least you have someone written on your head with more credibility!"

Homer snapped. "I'LL KILL YOU! AAAAHHHHH!" He ran into the room. Unfortunately, Homer stepped on soap and began to slip all over the room, with Bart in hysterics.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Homer screamed, as he flew off the soap and out the bedroom window, falling into the backyard.

Bart laughed for a couple of more seconds while he got his backpack and headed downstairs for breakfast.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Bart had made his way to the kitchen. He saw Marge making breakfast for the family. Sitting at the table were his sisters, Lisa and Maggie. Maggie was looking straight at the family dog, Santa's Little Helper, who was eating his dog food.

Bart sat down at the table, smirking as he remembered the soap incident from earlier. _My day is now complete. _He thought. _What am I thinking? I got more to do!_

Lisa shook her head. "Bart, I don't think that you should've done that to Dad. He is in enough stress as it is. The power plant is watching close on everyone who works there and…"

"It's all about you, isn't it?" Bart rolled his eyes. "Always telling me what is right and what is wrong. It's never about me."

Marge turned to the table and gave Bart and Lisa their plates of scrambled eggs. "Now, kids," she started. "Your father works hard for this family. We should try to learn from his example?"

"What examples?" Bart asked. "Drinking, sleeping, and cursing at Fox News? I tell you, he does nothing better than that."

"Now, Bart," Marge started. "You only look at the bad things. Also, you and I both know how much we all hate Fox News." She went back to get another plate.

Lisa looked at Bart. "It's bad enough that everyone in Springfield is annoyed at what you have 'accomplished', but cut Dad some slack."

Marge put another plate of eggs beside Lisa. "Hmmm, where's your father?"

As the question was asked, the back door was forced opened, causing the family to jump. In the kitchen came an angry Homer, covered in trash, blood and raccoon bites. Half of his shirt was missing and his blue jeans were ripped. His two hairs were cut in half and there was the baseball bat was shoved up his behind.

Bart quickly ate his breakfast and got up from the table. "See you later, Mom!" And with that, Bart bolted to the front door.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Homer grimaced as he pulled the bat out of him and ran after Bart.

Bart got on his skateboard and bolted out the door with Homer running after him.

Bart skated quickly away from him. Homer, too tired to run anymore, collapsed on the Flanders' yard.

Ned Flanders got out of his house and saw a tired Homer. "Hidey-ho, Neighborino! How is your day so far, Simpson?"

Homer looked at Flanders. "Shove off, Flanders."

Flanders shook his head. "Not to be a pestering prier but maybe…"

Homer slowly got up from the ground. "Flanders, I swear to God, give me any advice…"

Flanders gasped. "You can't swear to God! In the good ole' Bible, in the Gospel of…"

Homer didn't let Flanders finish. Instead, Homer, who was further annoyed at the Bible, screamed. Homer picked up the bat and ran toward Flanders with it. Flanders, scared, ran inside his house.

"Oh, no!" Homer yelled, while standing outside his neighbors' front door. "You're not getting away from me that easily! YAAAHHH!" And with that, began smashing the door.

Inside, Ned was calling the police when his son, Rod, went to him. "Daddy, why is Mr. Simpson trying to break our door? Is the Devil taking over him?"

Ned looked at his son. "Maybe, but just to be sure, get the Bible and the Holy Water for this occasion."

Rod walked away. "Yay!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Bart had finally made to Springfield Elementary. It usually took him about five minutes to get there from his house but he had to make a stop at the Kwik-E-Mart to get some batteries for a device he had in his desk.

_Today's prank is going to be huge! _Bart thought. _Everything is set up perfectly. _The night before, Bart had snuck in his school to set up his prank.

Bart barely made it to class to sit at his desk when the bell rang.

Mrs. Krabapple had dragged herself in the class soon after everyone sat in their seats. "Okay, class. Today, I will teach you about…something. I don't really care."

Martin Prince gasped. "Oh no! My worst fears have been realized! My teacher doesn't want to teach us! THE WHOLE WORLD IS OVER! WHAT WILL I LEARN?"

Nelson, who was sitting in the desk behind him, punched Martin in the shoulder. "Learn to shut the hell up!"

Martin rubbed his shoulders as he went through his binder, scanning his notes. "But we did that last week."

Mrs. Krabapple shook her head. "And, yet, you are failing with flying colors. Now, today we will learn if your spouse doesn't pay attention to you. First, he starts watching The L Word."

Suddenly, Principal Skinner made his announcements through the school intercom. "Attention, students. Today, there will be an assembly in the Auditorium for the war veterans. Make your way down there now!"

Mrs. Krabapple pointed to the door and sighed, sadly. "You heard your mother loving wimp, down to the auditorium. I'll stay here to grade your papers." She pulled out a cigarette.

"Strange," Skinner replied. "I wasn't supposed to hear that." The intercom went dead.

As the class left, Bart got his device from his desk and put the batteries in it, while making his way out of the classroom.

As all the classrooms made their way down to the auditorium, Skinner was sweating and pulling on his tie. "I hope this assembly goes well. I don't want any more pressure to go on me. As long as no one comes in to add to this pressure…"

"SKINNER!" Superintendent Chalmers came in out of nowhere, shouting in his trademark voice.

Skinner was having a panic attack but tried to remain calm. "Superintendant Chalmers! What a surprise!"

Chalmers rolled his eyes. "You called me twelve times to come to this assembly."

Skinner shook his head. "I would have remembered doing that. Nevertheless, this war assembly will show these children what those war vets did to change the history of the world! Oooh! Here comes one now!"

Grandpa Abe Simpson strolled in and Skinner grabbed him to show Chalmers. "Let go of me or I'll have your head and feed it to those damn Germans!"

Skinner laughed. "Now, Sir, can you please tell Chalmers the story you told me?"

Abe Simpson looked confused. "What story? Who the Hell are you and where the Hell is my gun? If I don't get those answers in ten seconds, I'll kill you with one finger and…" In the middle of the sentence, Abe fell asleep, still standing.

Chalmers shook his head. "This assembly is going to be something else."

Skinner laughed. "Yes, out of this world!"

Soon, the auditorium was full. The war vets, all five, were seated on the stage. Abe was sitting on a chair, still sleeping.

Skinner walked on the stage. "Good morning, students! Today is a very special day!"

Bart called out. "Are you finally coming out of the closet?" The crowd of kids laughed.

Skinner whispered to himself. "Don't let him get to you." Then he addressed the crows again. "Today, we will be hearing the words of actual war veterans. These people have changed our country and the way we live!"

Bart called out again. "Yeah! You still live with your mother!"

Skinner yelled, "She lives with me!"

Bart laughed. "What are you, married to your mother?" The crowd laughed again.

Skinner was at a loss of words when Groundskeeper Willie went to the principal. "Just say the word and I'll get that Bart. Before you know it, he will be digging his own grave. I can make it seem like he never existed!"

Skinner shook his head. "Not yet. We're still taking heat for that Uter disappearance. By the way, you wouldn't know where he is, would you?"

Willie looked nervously at the audience. "Moving on." And with that, he ran off the stage.

Skinner cleared his throat. "Without any delay, give a big standing ovation for the heroes for all generations!"

As the vets got up, the American flag was pulled up a flag post, with the vets saluting it while Abe was sitting, sleeping.

The crowd stood up and applauded them, with the exception of Bart. He had begun a countdown to use the device, which turned out to only be a huge red button.

The applause died down as the crowd placed their respects to the American flag. Bart quietly got out a remote control out of his pocket and pressed the Play button. Suddenly, a song came out through the loud speakers: Oh Canada.

Chalmers pulled a horrified Skinner away from the stage. "Skinner, I demand to know why you insult the American flag by playing a hokey Canadian song."

Skinner was sweating. "Uh, well, you see…"

The vets were still saluting the flag and, as was the crowd, were confused at the song.

Bart got ready to push the button. "Three…two…one…BLASTOFF!" He pressed the button and the prank had begun.

Fireworks had burst from the stage, exploding in mid-air. The children ran around, screaming in chaos as the fireworks nearly hit them in their faces.

The veterans stopped saluting and, in a confused state, got ready for war. Abe Simpson woke up, screaming.

"What the Hell?" He pulled out a pistol and started shooting blindly into the crowd. "I killed your friends when I was at war!" He walked off the stage. "I can kill you too! YAAAAHHH!"

Fireworks still coming out of the stage, kids screaming, war veterans thinking it was war again and causing even more chaos, Bart rolled in his seat laughing.

The smoke caused by the fireworks had caused a lot of smoke, leading to the ceiling sprinklers to release water on to everyone.

Skinner went on stage, extremely furious. "BART SIMPSON!"

But by the time he called out for the troublemaker, Bart had already exited out of the school.

Bart laughed as he made his way to the Comic Book Store on his skateboard. "They don't even suspect it was me!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Homer finally made it to the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. It had been a tough morning so far. Bart had been nothing but trouble today and, if that wasn't enough, he had been arrested for disturbing the peace. He had this incident added on to his 12 page 'rap sheet'.

"Stupid Bart," Homer grumbled. "Making my day a living Hell."

He parked in his usual parking space. He got out of the car and walked on his way to work.

Meanwhile, Mr. Burns was looking out at his window, with Smithers behind his desk.

"You know, Smithers," Mr. Burns started. "This parking space is making this plant lose money!"

Smithers was puzzled. "Mr. Burns, the space doesn't lose money; it just makes the least money."

Mr. Burns turned to Smithers. "To me, it's the same difference. Now, we must use the money to give the China Nuclear Power Plant so they would never have to inspect this place." He gestured to a picture of himself smiling with an Asian lookalike of Mr. Burns, both in front of a power plant similar to Springfield's own. "Ah, that was the day I shut down the German Power Plant."

Smithers walked to his boss. "I don't know if we can just get rid of the parking space. The workers here need it to, obviously, park their vehicles."

Mr. Burns looked puzzled. "But this whole lot alone costs three million dollars! What do you suppose we do?"

"We could get rid of ONE parking space." Smithers suggested.

Mr. Burns lit up. "Jolly idea, man! But which one?" he looked out the window to the nearly full parking spot.

"How about the car with the least sentimental value?" Smithers suggested.

Mr. Burns twitted his fingers. "I see the one now. Excellent!"

It was lunch time. Homer was in the cafeteria with his friends, Lenny and Carl.

"So, trouble at home?" Lenny asked.

"How do you know?" Homer asked, sarcastically.

"Well, we're both concerned about you lately," Carl stated. "You've sleeping at work more than usual."

"Plus, you keep muttering that you were going to murder your son." Lenny finished.

"Thanks for being concerned about me." Homer sighed. "I believe that things are going to pick up." He opened his lunch box only to see fireworks to come out of it. Everyone screamed.

The fireworks had flown all over the cafeteria and some managed to escape the building.

At Milhouse's home, the blue haired kid ran, happily, outside.

"YAY!" he screamed. "I finally don't need the body cast!" As he ran around in circles, the unlucky kid didn't see the fireworks that flew right behind him.

Milhouse saw them heading toward him. "Everybody hates Milhouse."

At a Springfield war base, the army was getting ready for training when the captain yelled at them.

"NOW LISTEN UP MAGGOTS!" he yelled. "I WANT YOU TO BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING THAT IS THROWN AT YOU! EVEN IF THAT THING IS GREG KINNEAR, ESPECIALLY IF THAT THING IS GREG KINNEAR, I WANT YOU TO FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!"

A small firework made a tiny pop and the captain screamed like a girl. "MOMMY, WHERE ARE YOU!"

At the police station, Chief Wiggum and Lou were sitting at their desks, arguing.

"Chief," Lou started. "There is no way that the Springfield Isotopes are going to win the championship this year!"

Wiggum shook his head. "You know, there is always something called a chance!"

Suddenly, a dozen fireworks flew into the department and exploded, scaring Wiggum, who flew under his desk.

"WE'RE UNDER FIRE!" Wiggum yelled. "CALL THE POLICE!"

Lou pointed out his mistake. "Uh, Chief, we are the police."

Wiggum shook his head, annoyed. "You know what; I'm getting real tired of your smartass comments."

An hour later, the Power Plant was drenched in flames while the fire department tried to drench the fire.

Homer was looking at the flames, angrily. "I'm not going to get paid. Stupid Bart and his fireworks." He walked to his car. "I am going to kill him. That kid is going to…AAAHHHH!"

Homer yelled as he saw that his car was being towed away from his parking spot. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I WAS PARKED IN A SPOT!"

The Wise Guy looked out from his tow truck. "Sorry, pal. Mr. Burns needed a parking space for money and he chose yours."

Homer whined. "Why could he just take the spot that beside me, the one that is never used?"

Wise Guy answered. "That empty parking spot is worth more than your car."

Homer asked. "How will I get home?"

Wise Guy shrugged. "Tough luck, kid." And he drove away.

Homer fell to the ground and yelled to the sky. "I'M AN ADULT! AAAHHHH!"

Nelson, the school bully, rode on his bike past the man. "HA! HA! Your day is getting worse!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Bart was at the comic book store. He was looking around for the new Radioactive Man comic book.

Comic Book Guy called out. "Little chum," he rolled his eyes. "If you are looking for the new Radioactive Man comic, I suggest you don't waste your time, being the little twerp you are."

Bart looked at the big fat man, strangely. "What crawled up your ass this morning?"

Comic Book Guy rolled his eyes. "Oh, please," he put his hand to Bart's face. "I am a virgin. Nothing wants to crawl up my buttocks if they want to."

Bart stared at CBG. "Ooookay," he paused. "So, do you have the new comic?"

CBG stated, "As I was saying, don't waste your time." He pulled out the newest Radioactive Man comic. The front cover was amazing! The main character stood in a Superman-like pose. What added on to the brilliance of the cover is that Radioactive Man was made of pure gold! "There are only four hundred of these around the world. When I mean world, I mean here. You think Canada would put up a fight but Obama was right about that boring, friendly country."

Bart looked at the comic. "How much is it?"

CBG answered. "Five hundred dollars."

Bart rolled his eyes and smiled. "Okay. Here you go!" He fished into his pocket and pulled out a wad of cash.

CBG inspected the cash. "This is the poorest attempt to purchase anything since Eddie Murphy invested himself for the movie Pluto Nash." Both Bart and CBG shuddered. "However, Monopoly movie will do no good here."

Bart groaned as the CBG threw away the money in a garbage can. "Why is life so unfair?"

CBG shook his head. "Please, I don't feel sorry for any human being. Well, except the people on The New Adventures of Old Christine and Firefly. Those network bastards never gave those shows a chance."

Bart fished into his pocket. "I'll give you five dollars just to touch the cover!"

CBG looked at Bart, confused. "How stupid do you think I am? Get out! Your stupidity is spreading through this room like James Earl Jones' voice in Star Wars! Good day!"

Bart stammered. "But…"

CBG pointed to the door. "I said, GOOD DAY!"

Bart out of the store, his head down the whole way home.

CBG shook his head. "Worst. Transaction. Ever."

Suddenly, the door opened again. It was Stan Lee. "Hiya, Comic Book Guy! How's business?"

CBG looked behind him to see the wall of pictures of people banned from the store. Stan Lee was the only one on it.

"Stan," CBG started. "I thought I told you never to come here again."

Stan went up to CBG. "I know, but listen. I'm willing to give you every copy of The Hulk from 2003! What do you say to that?"

Comic Book Guy didn't say anything. Instead, he got out his Devil May Cry pistols. "I never thought I would ever have to use these after using them on Ben Affleck when he did Daredevil."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Back at the Simpsons' home, Marge was making dinner while Maggie was taking a nap.

"You put a meatball here," she sang. "You put a meatball there, you put a meatball here, Santa's Little Helper, get away from there!" Marge saw the dog try to eat the dinner without a name and shooed it away.

"Well," Marge said to herself as she put the dinner in the fridge for later. She then sat at the kitchen table and looked at her watch. "If my mother instincts are correct, there should be some sign of commotion coming into the house, right abooooout…"

Just like that, the front door was slammed open, with the door breaking from its hinges. "DAMMIT, I JUST FIXED THIS DAMN DOOR!"

Marge ran to the front door to see an angry, angry Homer. "I am going to kill that son of yours."

Marge tried to calm him down. "Now, Homer," she started. "No good ever came out of taking your anger out on someone else."

Homer walked up the TV room. "No, but it helps." He sat down, picked up the remote and turned on the set. There was nothing but static. "Marge," he called out. "Something is wrong with TV!"

Marge called back. "The company called earlier! All the televisions in Springfield had been bombarded with fireworks earlier." There was silence. Marge went to the room. "Homer?"

Homer had a crazy look in his eyes, holding a gun while staring at the static in the television set. "That punk took away my TV, Marge. Now, I must get rid of him."

Marge was about to say something but the phone rang. Marge went to the kitchen and picked up the phone there. "Hello?" she answered. "Yes, this is the Simpsons household. Principal Skinner, how are things? Oh dear? Bart did what? How much damage this time? Four thousand dollars! Yes, yes, I'll speak to him when he gets home. Yes, I'm very aware how much you want to kill him but my little boy is not someone who should burn in you-know-where!" With that, the loving mother hung up.

"Homer, there's something…" she started but there someone walked in the house.

"Hi, Mom!" Bart called out. "What's up, Hom-AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Marge ran to the next room to see Homer on top of Bart, on the ground, holding a gun to his son's face.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU RIGHT WHERE YOU'RE STANDING!" Homer yelled.

"Homer," Bart rolled his eyes. "I'm clearly lying on the ground. Get your facts straight."

Homer put the barrel of the gun into Bart's mouth as he whispered. "I'm going to make this death look like a suicide."

Marge intervened. "Homer! You can't kill your son for destroying TV!"

Homer screamed at Bart. "THAT WAS YOU? I'M GOING TO USE YOUR BODY AS TARGET PRACTISE! I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD AND, LIKE I'M GOING TO DO WITH THE GIRL JUSTINE BEIBER, I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU OUT!"

Marge took away the gun from her husband. "Violence never solved anything."

Homer got off of Bart and faced Marge. "But Marge," he whined. "This is America. Violence was how it got founded."

Marge shook her head. "Can you calm down as I tell you something else? Principal Skinner called."

Bart got up. "Uh oh." He ran up to his room.

Marge continued. "Bart caused mayhem at today assembly. We need to pay the school for damages."

Homer groaned. "AGAIN? How much this time?" he whined.

"Four thousand…"

"Peanuts?" he asked, hopeful.

"No," she said. "Four thousand dollars."

Homer looked like he was going to go into a dangerous rage. "I'm going to skin that boy alive…"

"Now, Homey. Don't get upset…."

"BART! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE! NOW!"

Bart quickly ran down the stairs and to his parents.

"What is wrong with you? You cause us nothing but trouble since the day you were born!"

"Homer…"

"And another thing! You killed my TV. You don't understand how I feel."

Bart frowned. "You out of all people don't understand ME! You treat me like a dumbass!"

"I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE BEING AN ADULT!"

"I bet you can't last one day in my shoes!"

"Of course I can! I can obviously go one day without causing any destruction your puny hands can carry! YOU are the one who can't live a day in my shoes!"

"I can too!"

"Can not!"

Homer and Bart faced eye to eye. "OH YEAH?" they both said.

Snake then came through the broken front door. Seeing the tension in the room between father and son, he looked around. "Alright!" he exclaimed. "An open house!" He then went in the living room, took the family cat, Snowball II, and ran out.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was 11:30 in the night. Homer and Marge were in bed. Marge, being the mother she was, turned on the light and turned to her husband.

"Homer," she said. "I'm worried about what this family is going through lately."

Homer got up from his sleep and patted her hands. "Now, Marge," he smiled. "The family is just going through the faze, like Lindsey Lohan."

"Mmmmm," Marge groaned. "That sounds like a dangerous downward spiral that we'll never get out of. What if we die trying?"

"Oh, Marge," he said. "We've lasted over twenty years. Nothing can stop us dead in our tracks."

"But what about Bart?" she asked, with concern.

Homer's smiled faded, turning away from his wife and lying down. "That kid has cost me four million dollars since he was born. Why should we talk about him?"

Marge shook her head. "I think we should do something."

Homer sat up and smiled. "Marge, that's a great idea! We can trade Bart for another Lisa!"

Marge frowned. "Bart isn't a dollar store toy! We can't trade him in for something else."

Homer laughed. "Oh, Marge," he shook his head. "We're not going to trade him for something else. We're going to trade him for something better!"

Marge lay back down. "Good night, Homer." And with that, she turned out the lights.

"Imagine that, Marge!" Homer looked over at her. "We can trade Bart for another Lisa or a Maggie! We can be like the Baldwin family without Stephen Baldwin! Marge? Marge?"

Homer turned away from Marge and lay down. "Huh, no answer. I'll call back later." He closed his eyes a few minutes later and fell asleep.

In Bart's room, he laid in bed, talking on his Krusty the Clown walkie-talkie with his friend, Milhouse.

"So, now the damage cost me thousands of dollars at school."

"I wish I was as brave as you, Bart," his friend groaned. "I'm filled with seventy percent burns because of some fire…."

"Yeah, yeah," Bart yawned. "Your life is better than mine, as usual."

"But, Bart," Milhouse whined. "I'm in the hospital again but my parents are out of town so I had to call 911."

"Don't worry, man," Bart said. "Whatever you need, I'm here for you."

"Well," Milhouse said. "I need all the support…"

"Anything at all," Bart interrupted. "You name it."

"Will you visit…?"

Bart hung up and crawled back into bed. "Good old Milhouse! That boy is a total riot." He laughed and closed his eyes, drifting back to sleep.

It was 12:00 AM.

The day had begun.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Bart groaned as he began to wake up.

_Oh great, _he thought. _It's time for me to wake up. Stupid school._

Bart opened his eyes and froze. He looked around his environment. The walls were pink, there was a mirror with hair accessories, a bathroom...

_Wait a minute, _he thought. _There's no bathroom in my room. Unless…_

This wasn't Bart's room. He looked at where he was sleeping. A king sized bed.

_My bed is smaller than this,_ he thought again. _Could this get any weirder?_

As he finished this thought, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see who it was.

_MOM! _Bart thought, panicked. _Why is she sleeping with me? Did I sleepwalk to their room? What the Hell happened? Am I being Punk'd again?_

To Bart's horror, Marge opened her eyes and smiled at Bart. "Good morning, sweetie." She leaned in to kiss him but not on the forehead as usual…

_Ay carumba! _he thought. _I'm going to get my first kiss from my Mom!_

Bart yelled, as he jumped out of bed. "COOTIES! AAAAAHHHHH!" And with this, he ran and locked himself in the bathroom.

Marge groaned as she got out of bed to fix it. "Geez Louis, you get sick once and you never hear the end of it."

In the bathroom, Bart lay against the door, collecting his thought.

"Why is Mom hitting on me?" he whispered. "She's not supposed to do that to her son. It's illegal in twenty states!"

He thought about it while he scratched his head and, immediately, noticed something different. There were two hairs on his head.

"What happened to my bad boy spikes!" he said.

He scratched his chin and noticed something else. "Since when did I ever have hair on my face?"

His stomach growled and Bart looked at it. "Why do I have a stomach like Val Kilmer?"

Bart started to sweat. "Okay, there is a perfectly good explanation for all of this. I'm fine. This is what puberty is like."

Bart burped extremely loudly. "That is not my burp. What is going on?"

He went to the sink and washed his face. "Maybe I got drunk and ended up sleeping in my parents' room." Bart grabbed a towel to dry himself off.

As he did this, for a split second, he looked in the mirror that was in front of him. He froze.

He slowly looked in the mirror and, in horror, dropped his dying towel. The reflection showed a balding, overweight man with a scruffy beard staring back at him. Bart stepped away from the mirror and bumped the back of his head into the wall.

"D'OH!" he shouted as he rubbed his head. He froze at what he said. That officially confirmed it.

The balding, the beard, the fatness, the grunt, the bad smell.

_I'm Homer! _He thought.

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bart yelled.

There was a knock on the door. "Homey!"

Bart jumped, panicked. Nervous, he changed his voice at sound like his father. "Yes, Mo…I mean, sweetie?"

"I heard a scream," she called out. "Did you cut yourself shaving again?"

"Uh, yes!" Bart answered, in his best Homer voice. "There is blood everywhere!"

Marge groaned. "I thought we were over this, honey. This is the toilet fiasco all over again! I'm not cleaning after you again."

"You could say it's part of your feminine… things."

"Alright, Homer," Marge said in her stern voice. "I'm going to let that go since you've said much worse. Now, hurry up and come to breakfast. You're going to be late for work." And with that, Bart heard his mother walk out of the room.

Bart ran back to the mirror. "Okay, this is only a bad dream. This is like when I saw Inception. This isn't happening. Wait a minute. If I'm in Homer's body, that means…something. I'll go in my room and ask what it means."

Bart went to his room and saw something surreal. In his bed, he saw himself, still sleeping, with his mouth wide open.

_Is this what I look like when I'm asleep? _Bart thought. _The devil must really like me._

Bart pushed his body to wake up whoever was occupying it. The Bart body snorted.

"Alright, Marge," he smiled. "We'll have a quickie right now. Hee! Hee! Hee!"

"Dad!" Bart shook him some more. "Wake up!"

Homer smiled. "That's right, honey. I'm your daddy."

"DAD! WAKE UP!" Bart yelled.

Homer frowned and got up from the bed, with his eyes still closed. "Alright, Marge," he started as he rubbed his eyes. "Just remember that I WAS in the mood… Oh, I'm in the mood right now!"

Bart went to his father in his body. "Dad, I think something is wrong."

Homer stopped rubbing his eyes. "Marge, why are you still calling me Dad? It turns me on even…" he began to open his eyes and saw himself in front of him.

Surprised, Homer stepped back from Bart and into a bookshelf. "Oh my God! Someone evil has taken over my body! Dad? Are you in there?"

Bart shook his head. "No! It's Bart!"

Homer screamed. "Someone evil IS in there!" Homer turned around to the bookshelf and found the Bible. He hid himself behind the Holy Book. "Oh Lord. If this is because I got you mixed up with your son, Jebus Christ, it was an honest mistake. But did you have to get someone who is only half as powerful as yourself? If you have an answer, please email me at ."

Bart took away the book from Homer's hands and threw it across the room. "It's your son, Bart! Something happened to us in the middle of the night and made us switch bodies!"

Homer scratched his chin. "Switch bodies, huh? Is it like that movie where there was a mother and a daughter who never saw eye to eye on things that mattered to their own needs and end up switching bodies for one Friday, which was freaky?"

Bart answered. "The Fast and the Furious?"

Homer nodded. "That's the movie! So, why did we switch bodies?"

Bart shrugged his head. "I guess we'll never know why."

Both Homer and Bart went to Bart's bedroom mirror. Bart broke the one second silence. "How are we going to get through today? I'm not ready for this! I don't want to be a boy in a man's body! I'm not Paul Reubens!"

Homer held his spiky head. "And I don't want to be a man in a boy's body! NOT AGAIN!"

Bart shook his head. "This is a nightmare! This is just like MTV!"

Homer looked outside the room. "Did anyone else switch bodies?"

Bart thought for a moment. "Well, Mom did try to hit on me."

Homer groaned. "D'OH! The one time she wakes up in the morning in the mood, I switch bodies."

Bart laughed. "Yeah! I think that's God's way of punishing you!"

Homer jumped to Bart. "Why you little…" He started choking him.

Bart laughed. "You can't choke me with those tiny hands! I have your big neck!"

Homer stopped strangling his son and looked at his hands. "Puberty can never come soon enough. Now I know how Heath Ledger and Greg Giraldo feels!"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Homer and Bart quietly snuck down the stairs and peeked into the kitchen. They saw Lisa and Abe Simpson sitting at the kitchen table with Marge at the oven, making breakfast.

"I wonder if Lisa and Grandpa switched bodies." Bart said to Homer.

"Today is going to be horrible at school," Lisa said. "Because of Bart's prank, Principal Skinner is getting the police involved in routine security checks for all students."

Abe said, "You know, back in my day, we didn't have those pansy police getting involved in our lives. What we had back then was Vietnam! If there was any misbehaving, then you were sent there by your own kids! I would've been sent there if I hadn't hidden from those lousy Americans and their brainwashing machines."

Lisa looked at Abe, puzzled. "But, Grandpa, you've told us that you had been in Vietnam and also, we LIVE in America."

Abe screamed as he got up from his chair. "AAAAAHHHHH! THOSE AMERICANS HAD YOU BRAINWASHED!" He took out a pistol from his pocket. "I always thought I would use this on McCain but, little girl, I can't let you live a lie!"

Marge took the gun out of the senior's hand. "What have I told you about bringing guns to the table?"

Grandpa Simpson sat back down, calming down. "Don't bring guns to the table."

Marge shook her head. "You're not getting this back for a week." And with that, she put the gun on top of the refrigerator.

Abe had a mini fit. "But I need that gun! What if those Catholics try to convert me again? What if Death comes and takes me again? What if the nursing home tries to switch my paranoia pills with sleeping pills? What if…" And with that, the senior quickly fell asleep.

Homer whispered to Bart, "I still think that Lisa and Dad switched bodies. I mean, come on, Lisa STILL believes we live in America!"

Marge went back to the table to give out pancakes. "Homer! Bart! Breakfast!"

Homer was just about to go into the kitchen but his son grabbed him. "Wait a minute," he started. "We have to be extra careful about how we act today. We can't let anyone know we switched bodies."

Homer rolled his eyes. "Hey, you can't talk to me like a kid! You're not the boss of me! I can do anything I want!"

Bart's eyes lit up. "I bet I can do anything I want! I'm in your body! I can last all day!"

Homer went up in his son's, or rather his own, face. "Oh yeah?"

Bart went up to his own face and gave the meanest face his father's face could muster. "Yeah!"

Homer whimpered. "Okay! Okay! Just take my wallet!" He reached into his pockets and realized that he had no wallet. "D'OH! I left my wallet in my other body!"

Bart rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like I hadn't heard that one before!"

Suddenly, Marge appeared right in front of them. "Good morning, boys!"

Bart and Homer screamed, leaving Marge with a strange look on her face. "Not the reaction I was looking for."

Homer went to Marge. "Good morning, Marge… I mean, Mom!"

Marge smiled. "Good morning, sweetie." She kissed Homer on her forehead. Then she turned to who she thought was her husband. "And a good morning to you, Homey." She was about to kiss him on the lips but Bart pulled back, covering his lips.

"Sorry…honey," he told her, through muffled lips. "You have….uh…cooties!"

Marge shook her head. "Homer, I told you this constantly for the past twenty-three years! Cooties don't exist!"

Bart scrambled for an answer. "I…uh…I mean…I have cooties!"

Marge put her hand to her eyes and groaned. "Boys don't have cooties."

Bart screamed. "You just told me they don't exist! Any more lies?"

Marge sighed. "Well, my pancakes are fat free."

Homer fell to the ground, on his knees. "NNNNNOOOOOOO!"

Marge looked at her little boy. "Is something wrong with Bart?"

Bart shrugged. "Puberty," he answered. "What are you going to do? I'll be at Moe's."

"It's eight forty-five in the morning!" Marge exclaimed. "Plus, you have work today!"

"Fine, mother….I mean, Marge! But, first, Bart and I have to have a little talk so I'll drop him off to Hell…I mean, school today."

Marge looked suspicious at first but gave in. "Alright," she sighed. "But make sure you don't have another car chase with the police again."

Bart rolled his eyes. "Okay, look. If I had known that stealing a Bible from a church would be against the law, than I wouldn't have done it."

Homer whispered under his breath. "Than I wouldn't have cared."


	10. Chapter 10

Freaky Friday

Up in Homer's bedroom, Homer and Bart were trying to figure out their situation.

"Okay, boy," Homer said, pointing up at his son. "We have to be each other until we get this whole mess straightened out."

Bart groaned. "No problem," Bart sighed. "I can do your job like it's nothing."

Homer was peeved. "We'll see. Well, now that we're in each other's bodies, can we think each other's thoughts? Because if you're thinking what I'm thinking…"

Bart lit up. "I know what you're thinking! We can get back into each other's bodies; we….we…can…"

"JOLT!" Homer said. "You go over to that side of the room," Homer pointed to the side near the window. "And I'll go on the other side and we'll ram into each other!"

Bart agreed and both boys went to their sides.

"Ready?" Homer called.

"GO!" Bart yelled.

Both parties ran to each other. Before they slammed, Bart ducked at the last second and Homer tripped over his body. Homer flew across the room and out the window, landing right on the front lawn, twisting his right leg.

"The joke's on him," he said to himself, laughing. "This is HIS body. This doesn't affect me at…AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Homer tried to get up but he put too much pressure on his twisted leg, releasing horrible pain, causing him to fall back down. "How did Mel Gibson do that thing with his broken arm? Oh yeah!"

He went to the Simpson mailbox, which was covered in unpaid bills, which they snuck past by due to the family having to watch Baby Mama. Homer struggled to lift up his leg and he smashed it hard against the mailbox. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

His leg was better but the sudden jolt of pain sent Homer back on the ground, moving violently and swearing.

At that moment, Ned Flanders was just about finished mowing his lawn when he saw "Bart" on the ground, moving violently.

He went up to the "boy" and waved. "Good morning, son of God! How are you on this fine diddily morning?"

"Bart", still in agonizing pain, looked at Ned with anger and replied. "FGEHGDNBVDNSHHDUS!"

Ned gasped and backed away. "Oh no! The devil has gotten the misunderstood one!"

And with that, he went into his house and dialed the phone.

"Hello, Lovejoy?" He called. "I need some help with something."

Rev. Lovejoy groaned. "If this is another question about what is wrong and what is right, remarrying is a NO-NO!" He covered the phone against his shoulder and snickered.

Ned twisted his phone cord with his fingers. "I know, I know, I'll go to the Devil's horrible playground if I do but it's about my neighbors. I need someone to perform the unthinkable act."

Lovejoy sighed. "Very well, Ned. I'll call my friend to see what we can do."

Ned smiled. "Thank you, buddy! You're God's special friend!" With that, he hung up.

At the same time, Lovejoy did the same thing. "And you're God's little kiss-ass." He laughed.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Bart came out of the house, laughing while Homer was recovering from his fall.

"Oh man!" Bart said. "That was the funniest thing I've seen since Ghost Dad!"

Homer went up to his body and shook it. "If I told you once, I've told you at least a dozen times. Don't ever mention that movie!"

"Than how come Lisa gets to mention the horrible movie Hudson's Hawk?"

Homer got upset. "It's not horrible. It's just a comedy that looked like an action flick."

"Like Batman and Robin?"

"Now you're getting it, boy." Homer said.

Bart looked at his father's watch and gasped. "Oh no! School is going to start in twenty minutes! I have to get you to school!"

Homer shook his head. "No way! I have been to that cold place you call elementary school for twelve years. I'm not going back there."

Bart grabbed his father by the shirt and dragged him to the driveway. "Look, Dad, you and Mom always beg me to go to school! Why can't you just go for one day? Unless you don't have what it takes."

Homer pushed Bart away. "You're on, little man!"

Bart smirked "Good! Now, since I'm the adult, I get to drive…" He turned to the driveway and found that there was no car. "Hey, Homey, where's your car?"

Homer shrugged. "Wait, where's my car?"

Bart and Homer looked both sides of the street. "Where's your car, Homer?"

Homer scratched his head. "I don't know. Where's my car?"

Bart shook his head. "Dude, where's your car, dude?"

Homer was about to say something but he looked to his right. "There's my car!" And with that. He walked towards Ned Flanders's car. He was about to go into the driver's seat but Bart picked him up and put him into the passenger's seat.

"Hey!" Homer exclaimed. "What the Hell?"

Bart smirked as he got in the car. "I don't know about you but there's something about a ten-year-old driving a car that is illegal."

Homer rolled his eyes. "I bet that you can't hotwire a car."

Bart reached his hand into his body's shorts and into the pockets. There he pulled out a key. "I don't need to hotwire." And with that, he started the car.

Just then, the Flanders's door opened and out came Ned.

"Good morning, neighbor! How is the day that god created for us?"

"Homer" rolled his eyes. "Screw off, Flanders!"

"Okey dokie!" he responded. He was about to walk away when he turned back to the Simpson men. "Hey, neighbor?"

"Bart" rolled his eyes. "What is it, Flanders?"

"Well," he chuckled, while his glasses slid to his nose and he pushed them back up. "Not to be a pestering pedestrian but aren't you taking my car?"

"Bart" chuckled. "Now, stealing is such a strong word. I prefer the term 'taking without asking'.

Ned raised his eyebrows. "But doesn't the Bible say 'Thou shall not steal'?"

"Bart" rolled his eyes. "Does the Bible also say 'Thou shall not be a ninny boy to their neighbor'?"

Ned laughed. "I've read the Bible dozens and dozens of times and I know that those words aren't in there!"

"Homer" chuckled. "Well, you check again! It concerns you especially."

Ned gave the Simpson males the thumbs up. "Alright then!" And with that, he got out his Bible from his pocket and went back to into his house.

Homer lay back into the passenger's seat and sighed with relief. "Those Christians. They'll believe anything that you tell them as long as you tell them it's in the book of Jebus."

And with that, Bart started the car and drove off the Flanders's driveway.

Homer asked, "Since when did you learn how to drive?"

"Internet." Bart answered.

"Good enough." Homer said.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The duo finally made it to Springfield Elementary. Homer, with his son's backpack in tow, got out of the car.

"Aw," he groaned. "This is humiliating! Now I know how kids feel! Bart, why don't you tell me that this is what you go through everyday?"

Bart answered, "I do tell you! I tell you when you get out of your room in the morning, I tell you during breakfast, I tell you whenever you drop me off at school and I even text you about it!"

Homer shrugged. "Well nothing else matters when Colbert Report is on!" And Homer held his hand close to his heart. "God bless that crazy informer."

Bart reached out and closed the passenger's door. "Well, 'son', have a nice day at school! Unlike you, I can blow off work and get home earlier than you!"

Homer went over to the driver's side of the car and looked his son straight in his eyes. "And with that in mind, I want to talk to you about your mother. If you do anything to, or with her, I will kill you." And with that, Homer walked to the elementary school.

Bart shrugged. "I don't know what the Hell he's talking about but when I get home I'm going to play Monopoly with Mom! Now, off to work!" Bart drove away, chuckling.

Homer took a deep breath as he continued walking toward the school. "Okay, Homer," he said to himself. "First day of school…in a while. You can do this."

He took a step on the front steps of the school. "Alright, so far, so good."

As he opened the doors, he found something had changed. There were metal detectors were at the doors and beyond that there was a police officer sitting at a desk.

"What the Hell?" Homer asked himself. He was about to walk back outside when someone pushed him: Ralph Wiggum.

"My turn on the police ride!" He shouted as he successfully went through the detectors and to the police officers, one of them happened to be his father. "Hi, Daddy!"

Chief Wiggum smiled. "Now, now, Ralphie," he patted his son on the head. "I'm not your daddy outside of your house. I'm a police officer now. Now give the nice officer your backpack so he can check it for harmful weapons called toys."

Ralph held his backpack tighter as he walked away to the door, slowly. "You're not my dad! You're a stranger! Stranger danger! Stranger danger!"

Chief Wiggum got out his walkie-talkie. "There is a runaway at Springfield Elementary! I want this kid Wiggum found, dead or alive."

The person on the other end was Officer Lou. "But, Chief, he's your son but you're treating him like a criminal."

Wiggum was peeved. "Hey, I don't tell you how to raise your kids!" And with that, he threw his walkie-talkie on the ground, got out his gun and shot it before realizing, "Uh oh. This is going to cost me a months budget."

Homer gulped. "Oh God. This school is a prison! This is Disneyworld all over again!"

Wiggum spotted "Bart" and looked at his desk at a piece of paper: BART SIMPSON: REPORT TO OFFICE.

Wiggum stood up and went toward the "boy". "All right, party pooper." He grabbed "Bart" by the arm and dragged him to the school office. "You have to go to the office for what you did last day!"

"Bart" gulped. "Don't you mean yesterday?"

Wiggum was even more upset. "Tell you what, son. I'm going to let that slide. What I won't let slide is the fact that because of you, I'm missing James Franco on General Hospital! Who's going to Tivo that! HUH?"

"Bart" answered. "Your wife!"

Wiggum stopped and looked into "Bart"s eyes. "Once you're eighteen, you're mine."

"Bart" gulped. "I'll shut up."

Wiggum continued walking, with "Bart" in tow. "That'll shut him up. Yet, James Franco is sooooo dreamy."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Bart parked in a spot at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. He got out of the car, walking in stride.

"So far, so good." He said to himself. "Nothing wrong so far."

"Hey, jackass!" a voice behind him called out to "Homer", who turned around to see a man calling out from his own car. "This is my spot! Get out of here!"

"Dude, there are tons of closer spots. Why can't I have this one?" "Homer" asked.

"Because I want my wife to know that I'm the tough guy at work!" he whined. Suddenly, his cell phone rang. "Excuse me a minute." He answered. "Hello? Oh, hi honey! I'm threatening someone for taking my parking spot. Yes, I'm your big strong man and I'm yours only. Hold on a second, sweetie." He calls out to "Homer". "That's right! You better run, you bastard!" He went back on the phone. "Sorry, I lost my temper. Okay, I'll see you later. I love you too."

And with that, he hung up the phone and turned to "Homer". "So as I was saying…" he stopped as he realized that "Homer" was gone. "Well, this is nice."

Bart walked to his father's usual work area: Sector 7G.

"Okay," Bart said, as he sat down on his chair. "We learned some of this stuff in school. It's some kind of power. What was it? Nu… nu… NUCULAR! I got a D+ on it in science class. I'm practically ready at this workplace! Now, to sit back and relax."

Bart leaned on his chair and closed his eyes. "I'm just going to take a little nap…"

Meanwhile, at the head office, Mr. Burns and Smithers were looking at security cameras. There was one camera showing Lenny and Carl putting swords in nuclear waste and fighting each other with them, another showed a bunch of people cheering during a cockfight and another that showed someone drinking beer.

"All these people are all incompetent," Mr. Burns complained. "They don't know how to work."

Smithers responded, "I can have them fired before lunch, sir."

"I said they're all incompetent, I didn't say they weren't ambitious. Well, expect for that fellow over here, he's a whole other story." He said this while pointing at "Homer" who was sleeping. "Say, Smithers, who is this doughboy?"

"Homer Simpson, sir," Smithers said. "One of your low lives from Section 7G."

Mr. Burns scratched his chin. "Simpson, eh?" he spoke. "He's the one who probably costing our plant more money than Bill Cosby in Leonard Part Six."

Smithers was confused. "I thought you said you no longer remembered that movie."

Burns shook his head. "No, no! I said I WISHED to forget that movie. Just like I wanted to forget that movie The Conqueror with John Wayne! I tell you, Smithers, every actor that I like makes a bad movie."

Smithers looked at "Homer" through the camera. "So what should we do with Mr. Simpson?"

"Well, Smithers," he said, meddling with his fingers. "According to the security tapes, he was the one responsible for the fireworks fiasco that cost the plant four hundred dollars!"

Smithers responded. "Sir, that doesn't seem like a lot of money. You're rich, you can afford to cost the damages."

"But it was a waste of time! It was like the sequel to Gremlins! It was NOT necessary! Now bring him to me."

Bart was sleeping, talking in his sleep. "No, Mom, I don't want to go to school today! There's no test, I just feel sick."

Suddenly, Smithers appeared in the work area and shouted, "Simpson!"

"Homer" snapped his eyes open. "AH!" he pushed a bunch of buttons, pretending he was working. "I wasn't sleeping on the job! Everything is fine!"

"Homer" more buttons, one of them turned out to be the alarm button. Suddenly, alarms went off and all the workers went into a panic.

"OH MY GOD!" one worker exclaimed. "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! AAAAHHHHH!" And with that, he threw himself out a window.

Smithers shook his head as all Hell broke loose. "You're lucky that this is a drill or this could've been a lot worse. Mr. Burns would like to see you."

Bart gulped.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Homer was in Principal Skinner's office, right in front of the principal's desk. Right behind that desk was Skinner himself, calm but angry looking, sitting.

"Bart," he said. "You have cost the school a lot of money. We can't afford enough for anything."

"Bart" whined. "But I didn't do it!"

Skinner shook his head and got up and walked around. "That's your excuse for everything! That was your excuse for when flooded the school, that was your excuse for spreading a Level 1 virus around your classmates and that was your excuse when you replaced the movie Rudy with the Garbage Pail Kids movie during a school assembly."

"Bart" laughed. "Alright. That last one was pretty funny, I'll admit. It could've been worse; I could've replaced Rudy with Battlefield Earth."

Skinner rolled his eyes. "As much as I have to agree with you there…somehow…you are still punished. Yesterday's fiasco was the last straw! We have run out of money because we spent it all on fixing the school!" He went up to the office window. "We'll have to keep this quiet because if Superintendant Chalmers finds out about this…"

"Suddenly", Chalmers barged into his office. "SKINNER!" He said while walking to Skinner, who was turned to him, sweating.

Skinner wiped his forehead. "Superintendant Chalmers! What a surprise!"

Chalmers shouted. "Why do I hear that this school has run out of money?"

Skinner sweated even more. "Well, we have to fix up the school and that cost a fortune!" Then, he looked down on the ground, seeing something peculiar. "And where are your pants?"

Chalmers looked at the ground. "Well, your officers confiscated them. The one time I wear hammer pants and they think it's full of drugs." He looked back at Skinner and frowned. "Wait a minute, if this school is broke, how did you afford to keep the police on guard at this school?"

Skinner shrugged. "They were bored?" Chalmers crossed his arms, not believing him. "I let them borrow my early copy of the movie Inception."

Chalmers frowned. "SKINNER! I told you I wanted that copy!"

Skinner shook his head. "No, you wanted to borrow the new Twilight movie."

Chalmers put his hand over Skinner' mouth and whispered, "I told you not to say that out loud! Someone might hear!"

"Bart" laughed. "You picked Twilight over Inception!" he stopped laughing. "Wait. That's not funny. That's sad."

Skinner pointed at "Bart". "Superintendant Chalmers, meet the boy who broke the school."

"Bart" was peeved. "I told you! I didn't do it!"

Skinner went up to the "boy". "You won't be saying that anymore once we get through with you."

Chalmers was confused. "How, Skinner?"

Skinner pointed at the ceiling. "You see the police came over here during the night and put security cameras all over the school, watching everyone closely, especially Bart."

Chalmers was even more confused. "Yes, that's good work but how did you get the police to put up cameras and especially quickly over night?"

Skinner sighed. "I told them that if they did that, then I'll take them to see Burlesque."

Chalmers shrugged. "Wow, good deal."

Skinner nodded his head and then turned to "Bart". "Now, son," he said, with intensity. "You have brought me to Hell for the last twenty-two years of my life. You have brought nightmares into my mind. Now, your Hell is here in school. And I'll make sure of that."

"Bart" gulped.

_Oh God, _Homer thought. _He's going to watch everything I do AND make my live a living Hell! This is just like EDTV, only funnier!_

Skinner pointed to the door. "Now, off to class."

"Bart" glumly went out the door to go to class, when the school bell rang.

Skinner smiled. "You're late! When recess comes, you come back here for detention!"

"D'OH!" "Bart" shouted.

"No shouting in school! That's a whole day's worth of detention!"

_D'oh._ Homer thought.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Homer" was sitting in front of Mr. Burns' desk. Behind the desk sat Mr. Burns and, beside him, was Smithers, standing.

"Homer" looked around. "This is a nice office. Are you rich or something?"

Smithers spoke, "You bet your ass this man is rich!"

Mr. Burns put his hand in front of Smithers, issuing silence. "Now, now, Smithers, this man looks like he doesn't know much about anything."

"Of course not, sir," Smithers said. "He's Homer Simpson!"

"Homer" raised his hand. "But I'm not Homer Simp…"

Mr. Burns stood up. "We all don't want to be ourselves once in a while. Just look at the guy who won an academy award for best supporting actor for Jerry McGuire!"

Smithers chuckled. "Good one, sir."

Mr. Burns walked to "Homer". "Now, I'll be blunt. We found out that the fiasco that happened yesterday came from you."

"Homer" stammered. "But…"

Mr. Burns leaned in front of his desk. "You cost us thousands of dollars, which I had to take out of Smithers' bank account!"

Smithers looked up at his boss. "You did what, Sir?"

Mr. Burns raised his voice at "Homer", who was deep into his seat. "AND you put many people in the hospital due to injuries resulting in those booming lightning thing!"

"Homer" slid deeper into his chair, afraid. "But…"

Mr. Burns went closer to the "man", face to face. "And to top it all off, you caused several meltdowns in the course of seventeen minutes both here AND in Springfield!"

"Homer" whined and said, quietly. "I'm sorry but…"

Mr. Burns was surprised. "Sorry? Why would you be sorry? I'm here to congratulate you!"

"Homer" sat up in his seat, surprised. "You're what?"

Smithers was surprised also. "I beg your pardon?"

Mr. Burns turned to Smithers. "This man's destruction has never made the plant more popular. People who were injured probably don't want to work here anymore, so that means less money to spend! The destruction of the plant means that I'll be able to collect insurance…which means more money!" He turned to "Homer" and shook his hand. "Thank you! I'll haven't been this happy since Avatar won best picture at the Oscars!" Then he turned to look outside his big window behind his desk.

"Homer" was confused. "But Avatar…"

Smithers quickly went over to "Homer" and put a hand over the "man's" mouth. "Don't finish the rest of the sentence and you'll get to be on television for a press conference later on today."

_Oh my God! _Bart thought. _I'll be on TV! In Homer's body! Well, there's a downside to the best things in life._

"Homer" took his Smithers' hand away from his mouth and said, very loudly. "I won't say Avatar lost the best picture award!"

Smithers groaned. "Well, you can forget about being on TV now!"

Mr. Burns turned around, still smiling, not hearing the conversation. "How would you like to join me at the press conference? You'll be on TV!"

"Homer" gasped. "I'd be glad to!"

Smithers rolled his eyes and groaned as he walked away. "I'll go get the makeup."

Mr. Burns twitted with his fingers. "Excellent."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"Bart" was on his way to class when he felt uncomfortable. He had been walking in the hallway, where there were a bunch of kids. Everyone was staring at him, with anger.

"What is everyone looking at?" he asked out loud. "Is there something on me?"

"Yeah!" said one kid. "Your stupid cheap face!" Everyone laughed.

"Well, I'm only ten!" "Bart" replied. "I haven't hit puberty yet!"

Lisa came out of nowhere. "Because of you, this whole school is like a prison! I'm eight years old! I didn't want school to be like this! Not like this!"

"Bart" put a hand on Lisa's shoulder. "Look, sweetie-I mean, sis. You have to believe me! I didn't do it!"

Lisa took his hand off her shoulder. "Why should I believe you? You've lied to me so much in the past! Why should I believe you?"

"Bart" stammered. "But, Lis…"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" And with that, she stormed away.

"Bart" went after her. "Lisa!" He was then blocked by three people.

"Well, well, well," Jimbo crossed his arms. "If it isn't the boy who ruined school."

"You've ruined everything for us!" Kerney exclaimed. "We used to do stuff we can get away with!"

"Now. We're limited to nothing!" Dolph said.

"Bart" groaned. "But it wasn't me!"

Jimbo rolled his eyes. "Are you STILL denying that? This is like the Garbage Pail Kids movie incident all over again!"

Kerney groaned as he held his stomach. "Please don't talk about that movie. I threw up just fifteen minutes after I watched it."

Dolph patted his buddy on the back. "You see what you did? Fifteen months of psychotherapy in order to forget about that movie wasted!"

"Bart" took a step forward. "Now, fellas, let's not play the blame game here! We're all friends here..."

Kerney rolled his eyes. "In another universe."

"Bart" continued. "But didn't some long haired hippie say, 'Give peace a chance'? Now," he stretched his arms. "Let's give each other a big group hug."

The three bullies looked at each other, shrugged and gave Bart a hug.

_Everything is going to be fine. _Homer thought.

"Bart" finally came into the classroom, with his underwear stretched out up to his head and he was soaked with toilet water. The rest of the class, who was sitting at their desks, laughed at him.

_Oh, this is going to be one of those days. _Homer thought.

Mrs. Krabapple shook her head, trying not to laugh. "Bart," she said. "Even though you've made my day, you're late. You're going to stay after school to clap the blackboard erasers."

"Bart" sighed, glumly.

"Don't use that tone with me or you'll stay after school for a week. Now, take your seat!" she said, using a serious tone.

"Bart" dragged himself to his regular seat and sat down, sadly.

"Now, class," the teacher said. "Today, we will continue learning division. I'm going to ask you a question and whoever can answer it right, gets a lollipop!" And with that, she went into her desk and pulled out a huge bowl of lollipops. The class gasped.

"Here we go!" she started. "What is 16 divided by 4?"

Martin raised his hand. "Pick me! Please?"

Mrs. Krapabble tapped a finger on her lips. "How about…Bart?"

"Bart" looked at the teacher, surprised. "What?"

Mrs. Krabapple sat on her desk. "Do you know the answer?"

Martin continued to raise his hand as "Bart" looked down at his desk.

_Crap, _Homer thought. _I barely know division! Why couldn't she ask me a question about Duff?_

"Bart" sighed. "I don't know."

Mrs. Krabapple crossed her arms. "Really? Do you know what 10 divided by 5 is?"

"Bart" sunk lower into his chair. "No, I don't know."

Mrs. Krabapple slowly walked toward "Bart". "Do you know what 4 divided by 2 is? 100 divided by 50? 12 divided by 6?"

"Bart" swallowed as he sunk lower into his chair. Meanwhile, Martin was standing on his desk, raising his hands higher, jumping up and down. "PICK ME! PICK ME PICK ME!"

"Bart" pointed at Martin. "Why don't you pick the moonfaced kid to answer a question?

Mrs. Krabapple shrugged. "Okay." She turned to Martin. "Do you know what caused my paycheck to be DIVIDED in half?"

Martin gleamed with pride. "Bart Simpson, Miss!" And with this, he sat back on his seat, exhausted but excited.

Mrs. Krabapple looked at "Bart", angrily. "Exactly, Martin," she said as she leaned closer to the "boy". "Bart caused the death of this school."

She then went toward his ear and whispered, "I'm going to make your days here miserable and you'll wish you were in Hell when I get through with you."

She walked quickly to her desk with "Bart" noticing that everyone was looking at him with the same expression: Anger.

Mrs. Krabapple spoke. "Okay, class! Math class is over! Everyone come up to get a lollipop! Take as many as you like!"

Everyone got up except for "Bart", excitedly to go to their teacher's desk to get lollipops.

Mrs. Krabapple shouted. "After this, we're going right to history. Here's my first question: Who made HISTORY by destroying the school?"

Everyone went quiet and looked at "Bart", angrily.

"So," he said. "No lollipop for me then?" He chuckled, nervously.

Nelson went up to his desk and punched him in the face, sending "Bart" out of his chair and on the floor.

"That's for making a joke in a serious situation. Only Woody Allen can do that!"

Nelson kicked "Bart" in the stomach.

"By the way," he said, before walking away. "Haw Haw!"

_This is the worst day I've had since I watched the series finale of Six Feet Under. _Homer thought. _I got to get out of here!_

Suddenly, the recess bell rang as Mrs. Krabapple looked puzzled. "Strange, the recess bell is earlier than usual."

Then, the PA system turned on and out came Skinner's voice. "Attention, students! Everyone go play outside! Bart, come to my office. Right. Now."

Krabapple shrugged her shoulders as she took out her cigarette, lit it and started to smoke it. "You heard the sissy, everyone outside."

Skinner's voice was on the PA again. "I AM NOT A SISSY! That is all." And with that, the PA was turned off.

The kids screamed with joy that they got an earlier, longer recess, that they ran out of the classroom. "Bart" sighed as he slowly walked to Skinner's office, with only one thought.

_I wanted to go to recess, _Homer thought. _What did I do to deserve this? Oh yeah. Give birth to my son. Well, it can't get any worse._

He made it to the principal's office and walked in to see Skinner, crossing his arms. "Good to see you, Simpson. Your punishment will be helping clean the manure that Shelbyville dumped in one of the bathrooms. You'll be watched over by Groundkeeper Willie."

"That's right, laddie," Groundskeeper Willie, who was behind "Bart", said. "I'll work you until your lungs will with toxins, just like my father when he worked as a receptionist at the Fox Broadcasting Company!"

Skinner smiled. "Well, Bart," he chuckled. "This is going to be a very long day for you."

"Bart" groaned.

"Oh, you'll be a lot of that when you get out that manure. But you'll probably die before you finish… and I'm willing to let that happen."

"Bart" turned to Willie and asked, "What did I do to you?"

Willie told him, "You cut my paycheck by one-third of what I'm usually paid. You're lucky you're not my son or in Scotland. Otherwise, I'd kill you, like my other four sons…and daughter."

"Bart" groaned.

_There's no way Bart can be having a better day, _Homer groaned. _Especially at work!_


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"This is the best day of my life!" "Homer" exclaimed to Lenny and Carl at a lunch table. "I get to be on TV and stuff!"

Lenny shrugged. "Being on TV is alright but the Internet is where it's at."

Carl looked at his friend. "Yeah but instead of getting comments from top critics, you also get heavy criticism from normal people around the world."

"Homer" sighed. "Imagine what I can do by being on TV today."

His imagination cloud formed.

_It was set on the Krusty the Clown show._

"_Hey, hey, kids!" he giggled. "Today, we have a special guest! He hails from a very amazing place: Springfield! Please welcome, BART SIMPSON!"_

_Suddenly, a huge Hummer crashed through the wall, hitting Krusty. The driver's seat opened and out came Bart._

"_Helloooooo, Springfield!" he shouted._

_The kid audience cheered as Bart ran through the audience and gave them high fives. Meanwhile, Krusty was squished under the Hummer._

"_I haven't been in this much pain since Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin hosted the Oscars!" he said. "A ha ha ha ha! A ha ha ha ha! Uhhhhh!" And with that, he passed out._

The imagination cloud disappeared.

"That would be the best show of the best shows." "Homer" sighed.

"Can we join you on TV, Homer?" Lenny pleaded.

"Just do us this one favor. After all, you put your beer on OUR tabs."

"Homer" rolled his eyes. "But I don't drink beer!"

Lenny rolled his eyes and Carl looked away.

"Fine," the "man" said, getting up from his seat. "I don't need you! I got Mr. Burns to back me up!"

"Fine," Lenny said. "Go to Mr. Burns, you sellout!"

"I'm not a sellout if you don't have what I have!" And with that, "Homer" stormed away, leaving Lenny and Carl alone at the table.

Lenny looked at Carl, with concern. "Do you think I was too hard on him?"

Carl looked back at his friend. "No we're his friends. If we were his BEST friends, we would've killed him by now."

"Homer" was on his way to Mr. Burns' office.

_I'm going to be the first man-boy on TV! _Bart thought. _I'll be in Ripley's! I wonder if I'll be bigger than Jebus!_

Bart was in front of Mr. Burns' office, finding that the door was slightly opened.

"So what's the deal with Simpson, Sir?" he heard someone say. "Homer" peeked through the open door and saw Mr. Burns, who was sitting on a chair, and Smithers, who was pacing up and down.

"It's all part of my plan, Smithers," Burns explained. "I need someone to cover for me! I'm in hiding."

Smithers looked confused. "Bea Arthur is dead, Mr. Burns. You don't need to hide…"

His boss looked at him. "No, not that plan! You see, a lot of money was taken out because of the disaster of yesterday. The only problem was that there wasn't enough money to be paid for. Because of this, the mafia is going to kill the person who owns this place. The upside is that they don't know who owns it!"

Smithers: "That is a good plan but what about Simpson?"

Burns got up from his seat. "That's the fun part! You see, I'm going to tell that oaf of a worker exactly what to say and when it comes to the press conference, it'll be like HE is in charge. That way, the mafia will kill HIM and I'll still own the power plant without them knowing! Plus, he destroyed the power plant so I'm basically killing two birds with one stone."

Smithers looked at his boss and wiped a tear away from his eye. "Mr. Burns, that is the most beautiful plan I've ever heard from your lips."

Mr. Burns walked to the window. "I'm glad you like it. The conference is going to start in half an hour. Make sure there is a big crowd coming!"

Smithers scratched his chin. "But wait. Everyone in Springfield knows that YOU own the nuclear power plant. How are you going to fool them?"

Mr. Burns looked at his associate. "I've already taken care of that." He motioned Smithers toward the window and pointed at the front of the plant. There were several news vans outside all marked: FOX NEWS.

Mr. Burns walked away from the window. "You see, Smithers, I needed people who could blow things out of proportion, no matter how farfetched it seems!"

Smithers chuckled. "Oh I get it. Springfield only watches Fox News and they think EVERYTHING is the truth. Just like when they said the world was flat! That was genius!"

Burns turned to his assistant, surprised. "Wait, the world is NOT flat? Wow, this is so much for me to take in!" And with that, he snapped his fingers. "Smithers, massage my forehead!"

Smithers rushed to his side, excited. "Whatever you say, sir!" He massaged his boss's scalp. "Might I say, you have a mighty soft skull!"

Burns groaned. "Yes. The sun will pay dearly for that."

"Homer" backed away from the door, slowly and scared.

_They're going to kill Dad! _He thought. _And I AM Dad! I'm not safe here! I have to hide!_

"Homer" turned around to run when he bumped into someone unexpected.

"Howdy there, stranger!" Ned Flanders said.

"Not now, Flanders." "Homer" said quietly. "I'm busy running for…"

"Well, if you would stick around for God, I brought someone very special! This is Father Teddy!"

He gestured to a priest who was behind Ned.

"Good morning, son of God," Teddy spoke. "How are you today?"

"Like someone's going to kill me so I got to get the Hell out of here!" "Homer" said as he was about to run but Teddy blocked him.

"Now, now," Teddy said. "We don't have much time. Your friend here tells me that some of your family is possessed by the Devil."

"Homer" rolled his eyes. "As if!"

Ned gasped. "HE'S ROLLING HIS EYES! HE'S BEING POSSESSED RIGHT NOW!"

Teddy got into action. "Flanders, ready a passage from John!" he pulled out a small bottle. "I'll bring out the Devil with Holy Water!"

"Homer" yelled as the Holy Water was splashed onto him. It didn't help that some of it went into his eyes, stinging him and turning his eyes red.

"!" he yelled.

"He's the Devil is about to show himself!" Ned yelled.

"IT BURNS! THIS IS THAT MOVIE 'IT'S PAT!' ALL OVER AGAIN!" "Homer yelled and, with that, he ran away.

"After him!" Teddy said to Flanders. "If we lose him, the Devil might possess another body!"

The two of them chased "Homer" but "Homer" ducked in a room and locked the door.

_At least the worst is over. _Bart thought.

He turned around….to see Mr. Burns and Smithers.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Mr. Burns smiled and patted "Homer" on the back. "Excellent! You're here! I have some bad news. You see, I won't be here for this conference so I decided that you should talk on my behalf!"

"Homer" took a step back. "I don't know. Why don't you get someone else to do it?"

Mr. Burns replied. "Because everyone else is not as smart as you. Now, take a seat at my desk, will you?"

"Homer" walked to his Burns' desk but not before seeing Burns wink at Smithers and Smithers did the same to his boss.

_Well, I'm a ten year old boy in my father's body and already I'm going to die. _Bart thought.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Bart" was having a tough time at school. He not only have to clean the manure but he also had to clean the whole auditorium, pick up the cigarette butts that were left out in front of the school by eight graders, pick up garbage in the school hallways and clean the girls bathroom.

"There is a lot of red paint in there," "Bart" told Willie. "Especially on the toilets!"

Willie looked around. "Sure, it's red _paint_."

After dozens upon dozens of school chores, "Bart" sighed as he leaned against a wall.

Willie poked his finger in his chest. "Aw, no, laddie. You're not through yet! You have one more thing to do! After that, you'll be done for the day…only to do it all over again tomorrow!" he laughed. "Now, Skinner wants to see you in terms of your last duty."

"Bart" groaned. "You make it sound like war."

Willie pushed "Bart" in front of him, leading Willie. "You don't know what war is! War is killing a fellow human to win. War is bloodshed and tears. War is flying in alien spaceships and killing from above!"

"Bart" was confused. "I think you're confusing it for a computer game."

Willie was angry. "Is it because I drink that I don't know what war is? For your information, I drink because I watched the Jay Leno Show. That was the worst $2.50 I've ever spent!"

Finally, the two got to Skinner's office.

"Wait, here," Willie told the "boy". "I'll get him for ya, little bastard." And with that, he went into the office.

"Bart" leaned against the office door, exhausted.

_This day sucks so much, _Homer groaned. _I want to be in my old body. I wouldn't care if I had to see Patty and Selma every weekend in my b….exactly, I would rather be in here._

The office door open and "Bart" lost his balance and fell on the ground.

"Lying on the job?" Skinner said, crossing his arms. "Not in this school! You have one last important job." He went into his back pocket and took out some car keys, with Bart getting up from the floor. "Clean Chalmers's car." He gave the keys to "Bart". "The bucket, sponge and soap are in the janitor's closet and you can get water through the hose that is at the front of the school. If you ruin the car, it'll be my ass…and if it's my ass, it's your ass."

_Gayest thing I've ever heard, _Homer thought. _And I've watched According to Jim._

"Now get to it!" Skinner said before closing the door .

"Bart" groaned as he was at the front of the school, bucket filled with soapy water in front of the Superintendant's car.

"I never do this many things at home," he whined. "I'm missing girls volleyball! I knew I was going to die but not like this! NOT LIKE THIS!"

"Bart" was about to put his hand into the bucket, while grimacing, when his pocket started vibrating. He reached into his pocket and took out the object: his son's cell phone. He answered.

"Hello?"

"Dad?" a scared voice answered. "Is that you?"

"Bart?" Homer asked. "Is that you? Nod your head twice if it is!"

"They're going to kill you!" Bart exclaimed.

"Oh thank God!" he sighed. "I don't think I can last another minute you call…sc…sc…school?"

"No, they're going to kill me in your body!" Bart cried out.

"Well, what does that have to do with me?" Homer shrugged. "It's your body!"

"You know, if I die, you're stuck with a ten year old body."

"I'm still not convinced about saving your life, boy," he chuckled.

"Well, you know what happens when you're only ten?" Bart asked.

Homer shrugged. "I don't know. Puberty?"

"No beer." Bart replied.

Homer dropped the phone.

_No beer? _He thought. _Life without beer equals…Oh no! I can't do math without beer!_

Homer picked up the phone from the ground. "I'll see what's on my schedule."

"You better hurry!" Bart replied. "I'm at the power plant and they're going to do a press conference. The mafia is going to kill me while this is happening!"

"I'm kind of booked today. Why don't I save your life tomorrow?"

"Goodbye, Homer." And with that, his son hung up.

"Not a weekend person, huh?" Homer sighed before realizing he had been hung up.

_How will I get to work? _Homer thought. _There was to be some mode of transportation that I can use!_

"Bart" looked around and slapped his forehead to see what was in front of him: The Superintendant's car.

Slapping his forehead, "Bart" said, "Of course," he chuckled. "Why didn't I think of this before?"

And with that, he ran past the car and to a tree, where an unchained child's bike lay against. He took it and rode it for a few seconds before crashing into another tree, severely damaging it. The wheels came off and pieces of the handlebars were all over the ground.

"Bart" got up and walked back to the school. "Maybe I should take the car."

With that, he took the car keys out of his pocket and got into the vehicle, starting it and driving away.

Meanwhile, Chalmers and Skinner came out of the school, talking.

"I sure hope your little Hell raiser has finished with my car," Chalmers said, straightening his tie.

"If there's one thing I've learned from going to war," Skinner nodded. "It's that ten year olds make good labor."

Both men stop in their tracks to see "Bart" stealing the superintendant's car and driving away.

"Skinner!" he shouted. "Why did little Stan steal my car?"

Skinner shrugged. "I don't know, Sir. I thought he had better taste."

Chalmers scratched his head. "But my car! It's stolen. It's…are you saying that my car is crap?"

Skinner wiped off the nervous sweat off his head. "No, no, no, no….maybe."

Chalmers shrugged. "Well, at least I got my bike." He said as he turned to his vehicle. "MY BIKE!" he ran to the broken bike.

Skinner went to Chalmers. "Don't worry. I'm sure everything will be fine."

Chalmers turned to Skinner. "It's shotgun time."

"We can no longer shoot students anymore." He replied. "It's a law now." He rolled his eyes.

"Damn school district." Chalmers shook his head. "Can't live with them, can't shoot the young people to show who's boss."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"Homer" was pacing up and down, worrying about his life in Burns' office.

_Calm down, _he thought. _Murder is illegal in this town from midnight to 2:30 PM._

He looked at a clock on a wall, which had just turned 2:30.

_D'OH! He thought._

Smithers came into the room. "Mr. Simpson," he called out. "The conference is about to start."

"Homer" gulped.

_Great, _he thought. _I'm ten years old and already I have a death wish. I'm just like that kid from Home Alone!_

"Bart" was halfway to the power plant in Chalmers' car when he hit a stop light.

"Come on!" he yelled at the light. "I have to save my body from a crazy person! Otherwise, no more alcohol! And you've seen me without alcohol! I'm going to beat your ass green, you stupid m-"

"Bart" didn't see the car that was next to him. The people in it were Ned Flanders and Father Teddy.

"So, it's okay to watch PG rated movies also?" Flanders asked in the driver's seat.

"As long as they don't do any psychological damage." Teddy answered. Then, he pointed to the car next to him. "But I'm guessing that young man over there has seen really bad ones."

Flanders saw where the Father was pointing and saw "Bart" cursing to the traffic lights.

"Good day to you, son!" Flanders waved to the "boy".

"Bart" turned to his neighbor, in an angry expression, and yelled. "UEDDHGDXDKPSPCFFVJJDIJFIBJIF! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'LL FIFICVBMCC JCSM!"

Both Flanders and Teddy gasped. "HE'S SPEAKING IN TONGUES!"

Teddy ran to "Bart". "Young man! The Devil has taken over your body and soul! We must perform an exorcism!"

The "boy" turned his neck, slowly, to the Father. "I am going to ask you once, and only once, to get the Hell out of my way or I can make a deal with the Lord to send you DOWN BELOW!"

Teddy chuckled. "I'm the Father! Anyone who is close to the Lord like I am is sure to get in Heaven."

"Bart" pulled out a shotgun out of the back seat. "You want to take that chance?"

In seven seconds flat, Teddy was back in the car with Flanders. "DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE!"

"But what about the Devil?" Flanders asked.

"THE DEVIL IS GOING TO KILL ME! DRIVE AWAY!" Teddy yelled.

The car sped past the stop light, causing a school bus to swerve away from the speeding vehicle, crashing into a building.

"Alright!" Otto shouted. "My insurance is going to pay for my student loans!"

"Homer" was in front of the power plant, nervous. Smithers was beside him but Mr. Burns was nowhere to be seen. There were a dozen news vans coming to the Plant, all owned by Fox News.

"Good evening, this is Kent Brockman." The reporter announced to his camera. "I'm here in front of the nuclear power plant where a press conference is taking place. Why? Who cares? This reporter is the only one who doesn't come from Fox News! And that…is pretty good for all of us at Channel Six News."

"Homer" looked everywhere for his assassin.

_If I were a killer, _he thought. _Where would I be? If there is one thing I've learned from video games, it's that the killer is on a roof of a building._

He looked around the buildings nearby and the roofs. Unfortunately, all of them were too tall for him to see over.

_I'm going to die before Milhouse! _He thought, sadly. _This is the worst day ever!_

"Bart" had made it to the power plant. He got out of the car and ran around his workplace.

_Where's the boy? _He asked himself. _I need my body to do stuff!_

He saw a bunch of news vans drive toward the front of the plant.

"Something big is happening over there!" he said to himself as he ran. "I hope it's free donuts!"

"Homer" gulped as Smithers went in front of the "adult".

"Attention, everyone!" the assistant called out. "The press conference will begin! If you need to ask any questions, please ask Homer Simpson, the man in charge."

All the news reporters rushed to "Homer", who gulped, nervously and shouted various questions to him.

"Kent Brockman here!" the Channel 6 reporter called out. "What is your policy on nuclear waste?"

"Um," "Homer" scratched his head. "Don't..do it or something bad will happen, I guess?"

"Fascinating." Kent said back to the camera. "A man who combines heart and words together…I'd give him two days to live. Now, back to the man of the hour."

"Homer" looked around for any sign of any assassin looking characters.

_There are so many people here._ he thought. _I can't see who the killer is._

Then, "Homer" had a sudden realization.

_Wait a minute. _He pondered. _If Burns set this whole operation up, including all these reporters to be here, that means…something…I hate using my brain to its minimum capacity!_

"Bart" finally made it to the press conference, although there were a lot of people that were blocking his way.

"Shouldn't have stopped at the donut store the minute I got here!" he sighed to himself. "Now, I have to find my son or I'll never have a body old enough to drink! Oh yeah and…my son will die or something."

He pushed himself into the news crowd to find his grown up son.

"SON!" he yelled. "I mean…DAD!"

_I never thought I'd ever say that again. _He thought. _So many disturbing memories behind that. _

"DAD! DAD! DAD!"

"Homer" sighed as he saw the endless faces of news reporters, not hearing the questions. The flashings of cameras were everywhere, which was hard to see ANYONE, for that matter.

_I wish I could see Dad before I die, _he thought. _I want to hear his voice one more time before I go._

"DAD! DAD! DAD!"

_Let's face it, Homer hates me. I'm a mistake. He's not coming to help me._

"DAD! I'M HERE! CAN'T YOU SEE ME?"

_Goodbye, cruel world. At least I won't have to live long to see the damage of 2012!_

"Bart" was close to "Homer".

"DAD! I'M HERE! CAN'T YOU SEE ME?"

He was closer to the man, about seven steps away when he saw it: A cameraman, in completely casual clothing, loading bullets into a camera.

_That's strange, _Homer thought. _Cameras don't carry bullets. Unless the camera is a…_

The cameraman ducked out of sight, although clear enough for the "boy" to see what he was doing, and took off the camera to reveal a sniper gun. It was aimed at his son.

No one took notice due to the flashing lights everywhere.

"OH NO! BART!"

The "boy" ran to his son.

"Homer" closed his eyes.

_I wonder if Heaven is going to feel as cold as Ben Affleck's acting career. _Bart thought.

Then the sound was heard.

A gunshot.

There were screams.

"Homer" waited for the impact but there was none. He opened his eyes to see "Bart", lying on the ground, dead.

"OH MY GOD!" "Homer" shouted as he went to his father and held him in his arms. "WHO DID THIS?"

Police sirens were heard and reporters scrambled for a new story.

"This is Kent Brockman!" the reporter shouted over everyone at the scene. "A local boy has been shot, possibly to death. This reporter cannot stay here because he's on probation due to the LAST crime that he has been accused of. EVERYONE IN THE VAN!" And with that, Kent and the Channel Six news team went into the van and drove off.

The police cars showed up, with Chief Wiggum coming out of one of them.

"Okay, boys," he shouted. "This is a murder scene! This is going to take all the finger prints, lab technology, camera surveillance and nit picking to solve this!"

"DAMMIT!" someone yelled. "I was supposed to have the silencer on this gun!"

Everyone stopped and stared at where the voice came from and saw the cameraman on the ground, holding the silencer. He covered his mouth and looked around.

"Arresting the man at the scene of the crime is good too." Wiggum shrugged. "Book him, Lou."

Lou took out his handcuffs and put them on the cameraman, then led him to the cop car, driving him away to the police station.

While all the reporters were still reporting on the murder, Wiggum went past them and to "Homer" and "Bart".

"Chief," "Homer" said with tears in his eyes. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I hated him but he was always there for me whenever the TV was out and the TV was out constantly!"

Wiggum shook his head. "Nice work, Simpson."

"Bart" suddenly sprung back to life and said. "It was nothing."

"Homer" dropped "Bart" to the ground, who promptly got back on his feet. "But…how…what…why?"

Wiggum shrugged. "Well, your son here warned us about the impending danger that was about to be inflicted on your life. So, before he came here, he went to us at the school and told us."

"Homer" was confused. "How come you believed him?"

"We didn't at first," the Chief continued. "But we found out over the news that there were a LOT of Fox News vans out here and…we don't trust Fox AT ALL!"

"Bart" lifted his shirt. "They even gave me a bulletproof vest!" he showed his vest, with the bullet that was shot on it.

"What about Mr. Burns?" "Homer" asked.

Wiggum smiled. "He'll be in jail for a few days with some of the toughest criminals ever!"

Meanwhile, in Springfield Penitentiary, Mr. Burns was shivering in his cell.

"I wish I hadn't gone along with Smithers' plan. It was HIS plan, not mine. He should be in here. I haven't been this betrayed since I got France to fight in a war with me! Brrr! It's so cold in here! Don't you think, roomy?"

Snake groaned. "Geez, old dude." He said. "Don't you, like, ever shut up? I stole a cat! You had attempted murder on your file."

"Ah," Burns smiled. "But I'm rich! They'll let me out in a few days! What about you, you silly goose?"

Silence.

Then Snake said, "Don't go to sleep tonight."

Later that night, the family met in Bart's room. "Bart" and "Homer" were sitting on the bed, while Lisa and Marge were outside of the bedroom door. Maggie was sleeping in her crib a few doors away.

"I can't believe that someone attempted to kill your father again!" Marge said.

"That makes number 450 times and counting!" Lisa said.

"Homer" chuckled. "Yeah! I'm flattered that just about anyone would want to kill me! I feel so loved!"

"Bart" hugged Lisa. "I'm sorry if I caused any trouble at school, especially when I stole that man's car."

Lisa smiled. "Are you kidding? You're a hero at school! Because of that, there is no longer going to be any security measures! Everything is back to normal! If anything, I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier."

"Bart" shrugged. "No problem!"

Marge yawned. "Well, that's enough craziness for one day! Come on, time for bed."

Lisa and Marge went to their rooms while the two men stayed in the room.

"Bart" crawled into the sheets of the bed. "Are we going to be like this forever?"

"I don't know," "Homer" shrugged. "It reminds me of that movie where the switched…something…I didn't watch the end so I assume they die."

"I don't really want to be a kid," "Bart" said. "School sucks. You have to do school cleaning for minutes and minutes on end!"

"I don't really want to be an adult." "Homer" sighed. "There's only so many meltdown I can prevent and I don't feel like getting killed by anyone anytime soon. By the way, that cameraman was part of Fat Tony's mafia."

"That explains the lame camera gun." "Bart" shrugged. "Anyway, I bought you a present for your birthday." He took out a wrapped box under the bed.

"My birthday was yesterday, Homer." "Homer" said.

"Look, it's been a long day. Get off my back, woman."

"Homer" took the box and unwrapped it and he was surprised to see what was inside.

"OH MY GOD! The new Radioactive Man comic made of pure gold!" he took it out of the box and the pure gold comic book reflected in the dim room light, making the room shine brighter. The comic book hero had made more light out of darkness. "How did you know I wanted this?"

"I read your diary…" "Bart" shrugged.

"You read my what?" "Homer" gasped.

"Good night, son." "Bart" said as "Homer" turned out the lights as he exited the room.

"Good night, Dad." "Homer" said.

"Oh, Homer."

"Yes?"

"Speaking on your journal, I understand if you have some feelings for Milhouse, just don't let your mother know about it."

"Homer" closed the door.

_I really have to hide my diary better. _He thought as he retired to bed. _I guess leaving it out on the open just doesn't cut it._

He went to his father's bedroom to find Marge lying on the bed.

"Oh, Homey," she said, smoothly. "You almost died today. You know what that means?"

"Homer" shrugged.

"Kiss me and you'll find out."

"! COOTIES!"

And with that, he ran out of the room, to sleep on the couch downstairs, leaving Marge upset.

"Geez Louiz!" she shook her head. "He's acting like he's ten years old!"

Marge, who couldn't deal with her anger any longer, fell fast asleep.

It was 12:00 AM.

The day had finished.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

_Thank God it's the weekend._ He thought as he woke up. _That means I don't have to go to that power plant._

Opening his eyes, he found himself in his own room, completely with Krusty merchandise everywhere.

"OH MY GOD!" he exclaimed. "AM I…?

He went to go check the mirror.

"I'M ME AGAIN!" Bart shouted. "I'M ME AGAIN!"

His bedroom door opened and in came his father.

"I'M ME AGAIN! LIFE IS SO WONDERFUL! NO AMOUNT OF BEER CAN EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MOMENT!"

Bart jumped for joy. "Should we tell Mom and Lisa what happened?"

Homer shook his head. "No. If we do, there will be a conflict of interest and it will blow up in our faces."

"Like Waterworld?"

"Exactly!"

There was a silence, although it wasn't awkward. It was just a nice silence.

"What should we do to celebrate?" Homer asked.

"I know the perfect thing!" Bart smiled.

Moe was at the bar that morning, serving beer to the usual customers: Lenny, Carl and Barney.

"Homer and his son are heroes for putting away that awful murderer!" Lenny sighed.

"Don't forget the cameraman who tried to kill Homer!" Carl said. "I guess we can forgive Homer for what we said yesterday. We were upset, I guess."

"That had been one crazy day." Barney said. "Too bad I don't remember it! BUUUUURRRRRRP!"

Moe shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, it's been a weird day for all of us." He said, cleaning a mug with a rag.

The phone rang and Moe put down his mug and rag to answer it.

"Hello, Moe's Tavern?"

"Yeah," a voice called. "Is a Mr. Gay there? First name, Imso."

"Let me check," he said to the person. Then he called out to the bar. "Hey, everybody! I'm looking for a Mr. Gay! HEY, EVERYBODY! IMSO GAY! LISTEN UP! IMSO GAY HERE!"

Everyone laughed as Barney said, "You sure are!"

Moe looked at the phone, realizing he's fallen for a crank phone call.

"Wait a minute. IT'S YOU, ISN'T IT? When I get my hands on you, I will eat your intestines for breakfast, your lungs for lunch and your brains for dinner! I'll find you…"

Homer and Bart laughed at Moe's rant over the phone. Bart hung up the phone as they slowly stopped laughing.

Bart said, "So, who next?"

Homer picked up the phone. "Flanders!"

Bart laughed. "Excellent!"

The men laughed as Homer punched in his neighbor's phone number.

They could do this all day.

The day had only begun.


End file.
